Last Thursday, I finally decided I had no recourse but to see a doctor. I don’t have health insurance and this could be expensive, but I simply could not function without the use of my hands or feet. I am glad I did. Upon arriving in the Emergency Room, the initial conclusion was that I was suffering from anxiety or a metabolic disorder. Neither proved true, but while trying to confirm the metabolic disorder, a gal came in and drew five vials of blood out of me. I was very brave. I don’t mind the sight of needles. I do mind the way they penetrate my flesh, but I can endure it.
Moments after she left the room, I said something like “No. Don’t do that. She didn’t take that much.” And I fainted dead away.

Waking up, I had a vomiting fit. Fun stuff. Especially since I’d been to Burger King for lunch. Tastes worse the second time.

Dr. Grantham could find nothing (aside of a slight thyroid deficiency) wrong with me and sent me home with orders to see a neurologist.

The neurologist instantly recognized my symptoms as typical of Guillain-Barre Syndrome and insisted that I return to the Emergency Room immediately. One failed attempt at a Thoracic Penetration (that’s a Spinal Tap for the less technically minded) and I spent the night in the hospital, happy for the rest.

The next day, the Thoracic Penetration was successfully performed under floroscopy. What followed was four hours of lying flat on my back. Somehow I endured it, and avoided the dreaded Spinal Headache that might otherwise have ensued.

On the plus side, the nurse in radiology was very cute. One looks for any pleasure in an experience such as this. (very painful. Very unpleasant.)

Not content at the holes already punched in me, the hospital drew more blood and then (only then!) put in a Peripherally Inserted Core Catheter, a tube which runs from my left arm up into my Superior Vena Cava and can deliver drugs into me or blood into the hands of a medical laboratory. Sadly, this ability was never really used.

What we did use it for was five days of intra-venal immunoglobulin therapy. After one day I felt better. Today I feel — nearly 100%.

Kadlec has great food. If you ever have to go to a hospital for an extended stay, I recommend Kadlec. However, I think the Pharmacy department is a little whack. I’m fairly certain they kept overfilling my IG prescription. Since the stuff’s expensive, the nurses just went ahead and ran all of it into me anyway.

So, I have my hands back. This can only be considered a good thing.

Now, to worry about paying for it…